I looked at my phone. A message had been left on Voicemail. I listened. It asked me to call back my friends brother, I did of course.
I heard him talking words, jumbled words. I was howling, my heart banging in my chest and my pulse slooshing in my ears. "..... dead" and ".... heart attack" "3 o'clock last night" thats it, a string of garbled Sorry's and mortal apologies fell from the phone.
I couldn't breath.
My best friend had died at home on her own last night, she had called 999 but could not be revived and had not survived. A post mortem had to be done, the cause of death was unsatisfactory to Dr's ears.
The whole death was unsatisfactory to mine.
Either way and of whatever, she had died.
Either way and of whatever, she had died.
I had lost my best friend.
No more.....
Talking, chattering on the phone.
Phoning each other up with whoever has news first.
Eating lunch out together.
New potatoes covered in mint from outside your door.
Asking for gardening tips.
Sitting in your garden or walking barefoot on your lawn.
Eating tomatoes that you have grown.
Gifts just because.
Comfortable silences.
Hugs of friendship.
Smiling eyes, almond shape.
Watching the swallows fly and Bluetits nest.
Feed the fish in the pond in Spring.
Have a coffee together and just being us.
Go shopping together.
No more flowers on my Birthday, I will miss that a lot.
Cards will not fall through our letter boxes from each other.
Christmas will be hard.
The simple things are the best things and are the most powerful things that I shall miss the most. Your voice has gone from Answerphone now, they have turned it off. I wanted to have a recording on my phone so I called your number but your message did not kick in. That hurt me so much. It is as though you had been stolen from me.
Lights out Jenny.
Lights out.
You were my dearest friend, who asked for nothing more than my friendship in return. We did that so well.
I cannot say Goodbye to you as that is permanent, so I'll see you around in my Garden maybe when I will still wonder if Jenny would do it like this .....
No more.....
Talking, chattering on the phone.
Phoning each other up with whoever has news first.
Eating lunch out together.
New potatoes covered in mint from outside your door.
Asking for gardening tips.
Sitting in your garden or walking barefoot on your lawn.
Eating tomatoes that you have grown.
Gifts just because.
Comfortable silences.
Hugs of friendship.
Smiling eyes, almond shape.
Watching the swallows fly and Bluetits nest.
Feed the fish in the pond in Spring.
Have a coffee together and just being us.
Go shopping together.
No more flowers on my Birthday, I will miss that a lot.
Cards will not fall through our letter boxes from each other.
Christmas will be hard.
The simple things are the best things and are the most powerful things that I shall miss the most. Your voice has gone from Answerphone now, they have turned it off. I wanted to have a recording on my phone so I called your number but your message did not kick in. That hurt me so much. It is as though you had been stolen from me.
Lights out Jenny.
Lights out.
You were my dearest friend, who asked for nothing more than my friendship in return. We did that so well.
I cannot say Goodbye to you as that is permanent, so I'll see you around in my Garden maybe when I will still wonder if Jenny would do it like this .....
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