I cannot go shooting my mouth off over certain issues unless I truly believe and have a strong heart for it. If so, then I value and protect it and stand by it. We all have strong beliefs in things that we feel close our hearts and that are worth protecting, probably called by most, values.
Except I have one value that is a little sku-wiff, that definitely makes me a Hypocrite about it and I am unhappy about that but how do you rectify that?
The issue at hand is Game Shooting or hunting or whatever it is known as and I do apologise for misuse of my terms to those who participate. I live in the countryside not by choice but by luck, ever since I was a child I have lived rurally. I have grown up with the sound of gunfire from local shoots all my life but I have never got used to it. The thought of something flapping to fly for its life curdles my blood.
I have a friend who also lives in the middle of nowhere and feeds the odd Pheasant that maybe wild or escaped a shoot long ago and now has taken up residence on the land around the house. He comes up to the door to be fed sometimes with many hens, Yes he has a name .. Percy!
When I was young, Dad bought Pheasants home and they hung in the porch like limp dusters. I never asked about them or how they got there all I know is we ate well.
I have eaten Pheasant since on the odd occasion at relatives parties, without a thought except for when the gunshot hit my teeth!
Now there it is - There is the dilemma. To feel so strong about not wanting to kill one, to admire Percy and to feed him out of my hand. To love seeing them in the fields, to photograph them being free not and giving a second thought of supper. To freak out when being a passenger in a car in case the driver may not have seen all 10 Pheasants milling around in front of them in the road, to cry if one is hit.... Blah blah blah. I could carry on but it is boring to those who are not interested.
So where does this leave me I ask myself. I can only think of the word Hypocrite to describe my past actions and I am so ashamed so I think this is my confession of a kind. May God bless me for my misdemeanours and behaviours and may I behave a more righteous manor in the future, perhaps then I can respect and truly believe in my values that I claim to stand by!
Copyright ~ Linda Medhurst
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